T-minus...

So we start moving a week from Friday. Have we started packing? Nope.

Turns out our friend, Matt DeMille, is moving down here at the same time we're moving. Sorry Matt!

Got the Uhaul rented for the weekend. Won't have to do it all in one night, so that's good. Wish we were rich enough that wouldn't have to move. It will be a good move for us though. We'll be able to save for a down payment or something.

Might do another 48 hour film competition. My friend Dom Zook is looking at doing another one and asked me if I wanted another go around. I need the experience, and the dumb bastard keeps letting me direct, so we'll see what happens. This time we have all the time we want to write and develop the script, but it has to be shot and edited in 48 hours.

Hope we get a DP and a sound tech this time around.

Getting ready for Comic Con in San Diego at the end of the month. We're screening the movie there. Hope to have a great turnout. Then a couple weeks later it's off to Gen Con for 4 days of drunken debauchery and no sleep. Actually shouldn't be that intense, got enough people to cover and we can actually go in shifts.

For some reason, Cindy and I aren't sleeping worth crap. That needs to stop. Not sure what that's all about.

Hey Grandma, guess I'm not the only one that doesn't blog every day, huh? :)

Best in LA

As mentioned before, tonight was the Best in LA awards for the 48 Hour film competition.

No we didn't win. And thank god, there were some damn talented people who deserved to win it.

They created a new category this year, and there was a tie for the win. Best Comedy. Nope, we didn't win that either. That one I think we kind of deserved to tie. The other strong comedy was really awesome. Oh well.

We did win an audience award. Pretty proud of that. AND, our lead actress tied for an honorable mention with another actress for best performance. I have to say I'm pretty proud of that. Not that I take credit for her performance, just that she did a great job and I'm glad someone took notice. And I got to help out with that.

Over all, I think Cindy summed it up. "Well, I think you got what you deserved." Yeah, pretty much.

About the moving I mentioned. Yes we're moving in about three weeks. Trying to save some money on rent. Found a good place actually just down the street from us. Definitely not up to what we've been living in, but you can't beat the rent for what we'll be getting in the area. And we'll save about $700/month. It sickens me that what we're saving, WAS our rent at one point in our lives.

I'd say I'm very happy with things... going back to the film competition. For a guy who doesn't know his way around a camera too well, I managed to competently pull it off. Dom was able to cut it together well. We got great performances and had fun doing it. The script was awesome, thanks to Matt.

And I've learned something... or rather remembered what my goal is as a filmmaker. In some instances tonight, we were up against giants. Hell, most of the films kicked our asses. It was a good humbling experience. I'm not a brilliant director. I don't know that I ever will be. I want to be competent, to be able to do the job I'm hired to do, or however that goes... and I want to have fun doing my job. Directing is not my goal career. It's an important part of it, and I REALLY enjoy it, and I'm getting better at it. Filmmaking is my goal career. Unfortunately, that term is still a little too vague to really make it in this town. You really do have to pick something. It's most likely going to be producing, while I learn and develop my directing skills and career on the side, when the opportunities come along.

I also find that what I want to do as a filmmaker is definitely influenced by who I'm working with. It will be interesting to see how far that takes me.

So, I have a lot to learn, but what I do know can tell a story. Not many budding filmmakers can actually say that, even though they will say it. I know I'm not desperate, because I'm not locked into one specific role and I'm confident in my abilities, my relationships, and my trust in the unknown. I'm not out to prove anything, just to make a living at doing something I love, and spending time with people.

I sleep now.

Commitment

Really haven't had time to sit down and say anything. I decided I'm just going to write SOMETHING. Cripes, I blog about as much as DG has an update on the website.

Got a brand spanking new iMac about a week or so ago. It's awesome. I'm running both Windows XP AND the Mac operating system at the same time. It's so nice. I'm totally a convert. The main thing I don't like though, is no right-click. WTF? Of course Mac has never had a mouse that really had a right click. Suppose you could always just buy one. I've got a ton of them around here somewhere.

But, I do love the iMac.

So what else... my icons are dying off. George Carlin. Stan Winston. Hoping Sean Connery and Billy Connolly will stick around a while longer.

Got word today that one of my best friends... actually probably one of my first friends ever, Barry Newman, saw me in Vegas when I was there for the GAMA Trade Show. Sounds like he did a double take to confirm it was me. Wished he would have come by and said hi. But the place is a madhouse, so I know how that would have been difficult. Thanks Diane for the tip. Sent a message on his MySpace page. Maybe he'll get back to me.

I hate moving. I know it's the right decision... but I just f*ing HATE moving. I'm dreading it. Cindy said something about stability... yeah, join the club. It ain't just a female thing.

Stress has finally caught up with her. Wondered when it would. We've both been kind of missing our departed relatives lately. Must be the approaching holiday or something... not like we did anything for the 4th... but what else would it be?

Starting to play 4th edition D&D. I gotta say I like it. I do. Wish there was more material. Kinda feels a little dumbed down, but... I think it will be fun.

Delivered the movie to the distributor last week. Dorkness Rising I mean. So that's awesome.

My job. Doing alright. Numbers were way down last month. But I increased my number of calls by at least 25%. Hoping to reach about 50 calls per week. We'll see. Today was a good day of how that could go. Tomorrow I'm going to ride with the most senior salesman with the company, apart from the owner of course. It'll be good to get perspective on how others do it. Good news is though, once the actor's strike is over, there will be plenty of work to go around and my numbers will be a lot better. I just need a good number of customers not directly related to the entertainmnet industry. And the majority of my customers are not, but they're also smaller customers that are being crushed by the downturned economy. Sales is hard work, but it'd be the same story if I were trying to get a movie off the ground... selling. In this economy. So I need to figure out how to do well, because if I can makes significant successes in this time, it'll be awesome when things are better.

Still dreading moving.

Bleh.

A New Dawn, err Don, err... what-the-F-ever

I am blessed with a wife who listens. When asked what I wanted for my birthday, I honestly couldn't think of anything other than spending time with my friends and family. We had talked about and tried to make plans to fly up to Seattle for my birthday, or specifically Bellingham, but we couldn't pull the finances together. Got a lot planned this year, and I'll be honest, I've been a bit liberal with the spending and the planning of the spending. Me? Right.

So you've all heard the story by now, but yeah, Cindy got Nathan and Jessica to fly down unbeknownst to me. It was fabulous. I really couldn't have gotten a better gift. I just wished there was a way to spend it with my family as well, but it's just a birthday. There are more to come. And, my friends are my surrogate family... but you know what I mean. And I just want to thank all of you who sent me a gift or a card. Thank you all for thinking of me, OH and those who posted on my MySpace. I'm really bad at responding but I got your birthday wishes and it means a lot.

I thought my body was reacting to some kind of subconscious anxiety about turning 30. So I attempted to face that anxiety and dig up some demons. What I did find, well I shared with you all in my last post. Odd thing though, my body hasn't really gotten better. My muscles are achey and tense and stiff, my stomach feels like it's all knotted up, and today my effing Rosacea or whatever skin thing I have has flared up again.

These are symptoms of anxiety for me. Yet, I cannot for the life of me figure out what the heck I'm anxious about. I don't feel emotionally anxious. In fact, I feel pretty blessed. I have my dream car. I live in sunny California. I really like my job. There's some great things happening with DG. My friend Paige just moved down. My house is awesome. Marriage seems fine and the dogs are happy. (I'll double check with Cindy about the marriage thing, but I'm pretty sure she'd have told me by now if something was up). What the crap do I have to be anxious about?

So I'm going to schedule an appointment tomorrow with the doctor and find out what the crap is going on and get a physical and all that. I just got one for the new life insurance we just bought, and everything checked out great. My cholesterol is great (better than Cindy's. ha!) Blood sugar seems fine, doesn't look like I'm on a path to diabetes or anything. I could certainly use more exercise, but couldn't we all.

I'll let you know how all that goes.

Today we went out with Paige down to Venice Beach. It was fun. Check Cindy's blog soon I'm sure she'll post some pictures. Oh yeah, maybe not. Our laptop has crashed. We called tech support and looks like we are still under warranty, so I'm running tests and it looks like the hardware is okay, just might need to reinstall the operating system or something. So Venice Beach was cool and we got to meet some friends of Camille and Matt's who live down there, Ben and Mary. You probably saw pictures of Mary on Cindy's blog when they went on that hike. Someday I'll get invited to one of those. Anyway we're all going roller skating tomorrow night with Ben and Mary and Paige and us. Again, I could use the exercise and hey, we're getting out! It's nice to have a friend like Paige who is a great instigator of getting out and doing something!

On the professional front, I have a trade show in Long Beach and a big sales meeting that coincides with it next week. Should be interesting. The trade show is for the aerospace industry I think, which I don't know much about so it will be a great learning experience. I've set some professional goals. By June 1st, my goal is to be making 10 calls a day. That's a seriously lofty goal, but I'm almost there. It just takes a lot of planning. Okay, so maybe that's a little high, but I'm shooting for 40-50 calls per week. Right now I'm about half that. I've picked up a few things in the past couple months though, and I think I can do it.

I'm also thinking about joining a gym. There's one just down the street from us. Need to find a partner to join with me though. I don't think Cindy and I would work out at the same time of day, otherwise that would be awesome. Wish me well on that.

T-Minus... Whatever

Well I didn't get very far on this list. I'll post what I have, in no particular order mind you. Here goes:

Mastered forklift driving in a cold storage

Graduated Cum Laude with a self-funded education

Learned Ancient Greek

Went to Scotland by myself and studied at the University of Glasgow for a semester

Co-starred in a play performed at the University of Glasgow

Learned to drink beer (in Scotland)

Woke up several mornings without my pants, and no recollection of how they came off

Woke up in an alcohol rehabilitation clinic in Inverness as apparently I was too drunk to walk.

Slept on the streets of Glasgow, blanketed by my leather trenchcoat. Yes, due to more drunkenness.

Kissed a Greek/Argentine girl

Woke up with a Greek/German girl in my bed one morning, discovered we were both clothed and I was still a virgin.

Stood on the shore of the edge of infinity with my friends at 3am in Tacoma

Watched two of my spiritual mentors and pastors get ousted from their congregations

In my application process to go into the ministry, was told by the church that I had too much debt and to come back when I had less

Decided not to become an ordained minister until God says otherwise

Helped found an independent film company called Dead Gentlemen Productions (DG)

Directed and produced a feature digital movie

Helped create one of DG’s most memorable characters, Silent Jim

Filmed a demon resurrection ritual being performed on an actual alter

Kissed my best friend between takes of said ritual

Produced and managed Dead Gentlemen’s biggest film yet, “The Gamers: Dorkness Rising”

Was appointed Manager of Dead Gentlemen Productions

Operated Dead Gentlemen Productions’ online commerce

Initiated, negotiated and closed a distribution deal with the largest gaming publisher in the nation.

Made friends with the largest names in the hobby game industry

Played D&D regularly with the designers and writers of D&D

Married my best friend

Learned the marine industry from scratch

Became a professional in the fiberglass industry with no formal training

Managed a facility and employees

Promoted, moved to Los Angeles, and then promoted again

Graduated with the championship award from my sales training class

Bought my dream car

Contracted salmonella. Twice.

So far, can’t name one enemy.

Lived on friends’ couches for about 6 months

Was propositioned by 7 hookers in one night

Negotiated and facilitated a role playing game based on DG’s first films, Demon Hunters

Had lunch with Kate Blanchett and her family

Met and hung out with Ken Foree, star of the original Dawn of the Dead

Can call several designers and writers for Dungeons and Dragons (past, present or otherwise) close personal friends.

------------

Well, now I'm starting to feel like I'm boasting. I can say though that after all this time and all that has happened:

• My wife is still my bestest friend
• My friends are my family
• My family are my best friends (that's literal by the way)
• My grandfather is still my hero
• My regrets don't matter
• Next to my wife, my sister, my mother and my grandmother are the most amazing and strongest women in my life
• God still believes in me
• I love my job
• I'm ready for what's next and I'm planning for it

A slight departure for a second. One of my highschool peers died this past week. Quite the athlete. Took care of himself, stayed active, had a very active spiritual life in the Church of Latter Day Saints, and yet a rare cancer came up and that was that. Rendell Wilkinson. He was one of the popular guys in high school. Really well liked. I can't say I knew him well though. Yet his death has made me realize that deep down, I guess that dumb fear of approaching your own time is affecting me. I don't know that I'm actually fearing it, as I am feeling it getting closer, my time that is.

So in order to dispel all that, I'm going to print here for all the world to see what I haven't told many people. Of course my thought is that by recognizing it, then it won't actually happen because I'm consciously and reasonably presenting to everyone who would read this and hold it accountable.

For more than half my life, I've held some kind of belief that my life will end in some kind of explosion/combustion/ball of fire, before I'm 40 years old. This belief started when I had three separate and different dreams where I died in some kind of explosion, and I remember those dreams to this day, and I remember feeling the explosion.

There, I've said it, I've PRINTED it, and I can't take it back. So here's to outliving my life insurance policy, and to seeing just exactly how long I can stretch both sides of my family's longevity. Unfortunately, my teeth regardless do not hold the same life expectancy. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Yes, that's a pun.

F this S in the A. I'm going to bed. Godspeed, and don't get run over.

Viva Lost Wages

Yep, $200 at the Blackjack tables. That's MINUS $200. I was doing well, during the first 20 minutes. I learned 2 things, energy at the table is key. When you think it won't get better, it won't! So don't stick around no matter how much fun the people at the table are.

However, I came back from Vegas on the plus side, so that's good news.

Overall it was a successful trip, and I'll write more about that on my report on the DG website.

That's www.deadgentlemen.com for those of you playing at home.

Still working on my last 10 years synopsis.

Insights I will share though, are that as my birthday approaches, I find myself less interested in video games or the newest gaming books or a new set of dice, or whatever. I actually found myself thinking "I wish I had a shop vac." or "A deck cabinet would be great." or "Someday we should get a patio furniture set."

On the other hand, I was in the same moments also pondering how to fabricate a gaming table out of fiberglass. So I guess I'm not foregone yet.

That about sums it up for now. I'm sure I'll be way more productive starting tomorrow. Yeah right.

Time to go to work!

I think Matt Vancil once told me this. I think he read it somewhere but it's a perspective I'm trying to hang onto. Someone once calculated that if you took an average human life span and represented it as a span of 24 hours, 30 years old would be 9am, and 65 years old would be I think 5pm.

I'm not exactly sure how all that was calculated since the years to minutes ratio seems a bit off to me, but the poetry in it is what brings inspiration to me. 9am. Time to go to work. 5pm. Quitting time... retirement. So the first 29 years of my life has been hitting the snooze alarm, finally getting out of bed, walking groggily around the house in my underwear, taking a shower, drinking coffee, listening to the news... in other words, getting ready. Getting ready to go to work.

Truth be told I've been in a funk the past week. I'm not sure if it's my diet, lack of exercise, realization I'm turning 30 or whatever emotion I might feel about that, or whatever. Might be all of it. I haven't really explored how I feel about being 30. I have been looking at my present situation however, and realizing where I'm at, and I'm trying to figure out where I'm going.

I've also done that stupid thing of comparing my life to another's and seeing how I measure up. While it's terrible and unfair to yourself to do that, it has actually caused me to appreciate my friends even deeper. I, and the people near and dear to me, have accomplished extraordinary things in our first 30 years. It's truly remarkable. The paths we've all chose has also put it us in very complimentary places for each other.

Ben wrote out something that I thought was inspiring. I'm not going to do it in this blog, but maybe next one. He wrote out a summary of his accomplishments/experiences in the last decade. I think he said he's going to post it up on his blog but he hasn't done it yet.

Ben's Blog

Yesterday I had my ipod on shuffle and Bing Crosby came on and sang "Counting your blessings". I've always loved that song. It's in the movie White Christmas.

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
I fall asleep counting my blessings

And so on....

And blessings are plentiful in my life. When I graduated from high school, if someone were to tell me that in a little over 10 years I would be selling fiberglass products to the movie industry in Los Angeles while I build my own filmmaking career, I would have told that person they'd be wrong. At that time I was going to be a Lutheran Pastor, going to PLU, then seminary, and then God knows where. Well, God did know, and turns out it wasn't the path of a Lutheran minister. At least not yet.

I am going to do that 10 year synopsis thing that Ben did. I think it would be a good exercise for me to see what exactly I have accomplished and experienced. If you feel so inspired, I would love to read yours as well.

I'm also not fishing for compliments here either. This is purely an exercise for my own benefit and publishing it on my blog is a way for me to keep myself accountable.

Have a great weekend. Maybe I'll have this up before then.