There is a lot out of whack in my life. I just read some ramblings from my good friend Kevin on his blog about living a balanced life. Kevin and I have shared similar life philosophies about work and play, relationships, etc. My grandfather has said a couple things that I think sum it up pretty well:
1. Most people work 5 days a week. If you have to, you work 6. If you can't do it in 6, you're not going to do it in 7, so you might as well take a day off.
I've mentioned this next one before:
2. Friends are the currency of life, and I always considered myself a rich man.
And in general, no specific saying here, but something about you might not have a tomorrow, so don't forget to live a little right now.
Well right now I have a serious imbalance in my life. I'm working too much, doing something I don't feel too much reward for doing. I've mentioned before that whatever I do for a career, I just want to make a difference in people's lives, as well as my own. For the better of course.
It's no wonder I was drawn to being a pastor when I was in high school and college. Sure I've thought about trying that path again, but after watching two of my mentors being ousted from their congregations, I think it's caused some serious trust issues with me. Now when I go to a congregation, I always feel like "now what responsibilities are they going to rope me in for?"
Used to be that I would get something out of serving. Being in sales now, however, it's all I do. So it all just feels like more work. Taking out of me, not giving back. And I don't seem to really get much out of church services any more. I don't sing and I don't enjoy singing as a form of worship, which is a draw for most people who go to church. If it were me, it'd go Confession and Absolution, Prayer of the Day, First & Second Lesson and Gospel, Homily, Communion, Offering, Benediction. Boom. Done.
Ramblings of my own I guess.
I wish I had more time to game. I wish my days off weren't all needing to be spent sleeping and catching up on laundry. I hate reading about the great things my wife and friends are doing on the weekend without me, and not being there with them.
My friend Chris Duppenthaler once asked me, "Don, if there was one thing you could make a living at doing, what would it be?"
I still don't have an answer.
He asked another one once, "If you could something of your choice, what would you sell?"
Still I got nothing.
And that's about where I am. Spiritual life is pretty dry. Personal life is pretty dry. Professional life is pretty dry. I feel like I'm missing out on something. I also feel like my career is right in front of me and I can't seem to see it.