I am blessed with a wife who listens. When asked what I wanted for my birthday, I honestly couldn't think of anything other than spending time with my friends and family. We had talked about and tried to make plans to fly up to Seattle for my birthday, or specifically Bellingham, but we couldn't pull the finances together. Got a lot planned this year, and I'll be honest, I've been a bit liberal with the spending and the planning of the spending. Me? Right.
So you've all heard the story by now, but yeah, Cindy got Nathan and Jessica to fly down unbeknownst to me. It was fabulous. I really couldn't have gotten a better gift. I just wished there was a way to spend it with my family as well, but it's just a birthday. There are more to come. And, my friends are my surrogate family... but you know what I mean. And I just want to thank all of you who sent me a gift or a card. Thank you all for thinking of me, OH and those who posted on my MySpace. I'm really bad at responding but I got your birthday wishes and it means a lot.
I thought my body was reacting to some kind of subconscious anxiety about turning 30. So I attempted to face that anxiety and dig up some demons. What I did find, well I shared with you all in my last post. Odd thing though, my body hasn't really gotten better. My muscles are achey and tense and stiff, my stomach feels like it's all knotted up, and today my effing Rosacea or whatever skin thing I have has flared up again.
These are symptoms of anxiety for me. Yet, I cannot for the life of me figure out what the heck I'm anxious about. I don't feel emotionally anxious. In fact, I feel pretty blessed. I have my dream car. I live in sunny California. I really like my job. There's some great things happening with DG. My friend Paige just moved down. My house is awesome. Marriage seems fine and the dogs are happy. (I'll double check with Cindy about the marriage thing, but I'm pretty sure she'd have told me by now if something was up). What the crap do I have to be anxious about?
So I'm going to schedule an appointment tomorrow with the doctor and find out what the crap is going on and get a physical and all that. I just got one for the new life insurance we just bought, and everything checked out great. My cholesterol is great (better than Cindy's. ha!) Blood sugar seems fine, doesn't look like I'm on a path to diabetes or anything. I could certainly use more exercise, but couldn't we all.
I'll let you know how all that goes.
Today we went out with Paige down to Venice Beach. It was fun. Check Cindy's blog soon I'm sure she'll post some pictures. Oh yeah, maybe not. Our laptop has crashed. We called tech support and looks like we are still under warranty, so I'm running tests and it looks like the hardware is okay, just might need to reinstall the operating system or something. So Venice Beach was cool and we got to meet some friends of Camille and Matt's who live down there, Ben and Mary. You probably saw pictures of Mary on Cindy's blog when they went on that hike. Someday I'll get invited to one of those. Anyway we're all going roller skating tomorrow night with Ben and Mary and Paige and us. Again, I could use the exercise and hey, we're getting out! It's nice to have a friend like Paige who is a great instigator of getting out and doing something!
On the professional front, I have a trade show in Long Beach and a big sales meeting that coincides with it next week. Should be interesting. The trade show is for the aerospace industry I think, which I don't know much about so it will be a great learning experience. I've set some professional goals. By June 1st, my goal is to be making 10 calls a day. That's a seriously lofty goal, but I'm almost there. It just takes a lot of planning. Okay, so maybe that's a little high, but I'm shooting for 40-50 calls per week. Right now I'm about half that. I've picked up a few things in the past couple months though, and I think I can do it.
I'm also thinking about joining a gym. There's one just down the street from us. Need to find a partner to join with me though. I don't think Cindy and I would work out at the same time of day, otherwise that would be awesome. Wish me well on that.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
T-Minus... Whatever
Well I didn't get very far on this list. I'll post what I have, in no particular order mind you. Here goes:
Well, now I'm starting to feel like I'm boasting. I can say though that after all this time and all that has happened:
So in order to dispel all that, I'm going to print here for all the world to see what I haven't told many people. Of course my thought is that by recognizing it, then it won't actually happen because I'm consciously and reasonably presenting to everyone who would read this and hold it accountable.
For more than half my life, I've held some kind of belief that my life will end in some kind of explosion/combustion/ball of fire, before I'm 40 years old. This belief started when I had three separate and different dreams where I died in some kind of explosion, and I remember those dreams to this day, and I remember feeling the explosion.
There, I've said it, I've PRINTED it, and I can't take it back. So here's to outliving my life insurance policy, and to seeing just exactly how long I can stretch both sides of my family's longevity. Unfortunately, my teeth regardless do not hold the same life expectancy. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Yes, that's a pun.
F this S in the A. I'm going to bed. Godspeed, and don't get run over.
Mastered forklift driving in a cold storage
Graduated Cum Laude with a self-funded education
Learned Ancient Greek
Went to
Co-starred in a play performed at the
Learned to drink beer (in
Woke up several mornings without my pants, and no recollection of how they came off
Woke up in an alcohol rehabilitation clinic in
Slept on the streets of
Kissed a Greek/Argentine girl
Woke up with a Greek/German girl in my bed one morning, discovered we were both clothed and I was still a virgin.
Stood on the shore of the edge of infinity with my friends at 3am in
Watched two of my spiritual mentors and pastors get ousted from their congregations
In my application process to go into the ministry, was told by the church that I had too much debt and to come back when I had less
Decided not to become an ordained minister until God says otherwise
Helped found an independent film company called Dead Gentlemen Productions (DG)
Directed and produced a feature digital movie
Helped create one of DG’s most memorable characters, Silent Jim
Filmed a demon resurrection ritual being performed on an actual alter
Kissed my best friend between takes of said ritual
Produced and managed Dead Gentlemen’s biggest film yet, “The Gamers: Dorkness Rising”
Was appointed Manager of Dead Gentlemen Productions
Operated Dead Gentlemen Productions’ online commerce
Initiated, negotiated and closed a distribution deal with the largest gaming publisher in the nation.
Made friends with the largest names in the hobby game industry
Played D&D regularly with the designers and writers of D&D
Married my best friend
Learned the marine industry from scratch
Became a professional in the fiberglass industry with no formal training
Managed a facility and employees
Promoted, moved to
Graduated with the championship award from my sales training class
Bought my dream car
Contracted salmonella. Twice.
So far, can’t name one enemy.
Lived on friends’ couches for about 6 months
Was propositioned by 7 hookers in one night
Negotiated and facilitated a role playing game based on DG’s first films, Demon Hunters
Can call several designers and writers for Dungeons and Dragons (past, present or otherwise) close personal friends.
------------Well, now I'm starting to feel like I'm boasting. I can say though that after all this time and all that has happened:
- My wife is still my bestest friend
- My friends are my family
- My family are my best friends (that's literal by the way)
- My grandfather is still my hero
- My regrets don't matter
- Next to my wife, my sister, my mother and my grandmother are the most amazing and strongest women in my life
- God still believes in me
- I love my job
- I'm ready for what's next and I'm planning for it
So in order to dispel all that, I'm going to print here for all the world to see what I haven't told many people. Of course my thought is that by recognizing it, then it won't actually happen because I'm consciously and reasonably presenting to everyone who would read this and hold it accountable.
For more than half my life, I've held some kind of belief that my life will end in some kind of explosion/combustion/ball of fire, before I'm 40 years old. This belief started when I had three separate and different dreams where I died in some kind of explosion, and I remember those dreams to this day, and I remember feeling the explosion.
There, I've said it, I've PRINTED it, and I can't take it back. So here's to outliving my life insurance policy, and to seeing just exactly how long I can stretch both sides of my family's longevity. Unfortunately, my teeth regardless do not hold the same life expectancy. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Yes, that's a pun.
F this S in the A. I'm going to bed. Godspeed, and don't get run over.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Viva Lost Wages
Yep, $200 at the Blackjack tables. That's MINUS $200. I was doing well, during the first 20 minutes. I learned 2 things, energy at the table is key. When you think it won't get better, it won't! So don't stick around no matter how much fun the people at the table are.
However, I came back from Vegas on the plus side, so that's good news.
Overall it was a successful trip, and I'll write more about that on my report on the DG website.
That's www.deadgentlemen.com for those of you playing at home.
Still working on my last 10 years synopsis.
Insights I will share though, are that as my birthday approaches, I find myself less interested in video games or the newest gaming books or a new set of dice, or whatever. I actually found myself thinking "I wish I had a shop vac." or "A deck cabinet would be great." or "Someday we should get a patio furniture set."
On the other hand, I was in the same moments also pondering how to fabricate a gaming table out of fiberglass. So I guess I'm not foregone yet.
That about sums it up for now. I'm sure I'll be way more productive starting tomorrow. Yeah right.
However, I came back from Vegas on the plus side, so that's good news.
Overall it was a successful trip, and I'll write more about that on my report on the DG website.
That's www.deadgentlemen.com for those of you playing at home.
Still working on my last 10 years synopsis.
Insights I will share though, are that as my birthday approaches, I find myself less interested in video games or the newest gaming books or a new set of dice, or whatever. I actually found myself thinking "I wish I had a shop vac." or "A deck cabinet would be great." or "Someday we should get a patio furniture set."
On the other hand, I was in the same moments also pondering how to fabricate a gaming table out of fiberglass. So I guess I'm not foregone yet.
That about sums it up for now. I'm sure I'll be way more productive starting tomorrow. Yeah right.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Time to go to work!
I think Matt Vancil once told me this. I think he read it somewhere but it's a perspective I'm trying to hang onto. Someone once calculated that if you took an average human life span and represented it as a span of 24 hours, 30 years old would be 9am, and 65 years old would be I think 5pm.
I'm not exactly sure how all that was calculated since the years to minutes ratio seems a bit off to me, but the poetry in it is what brings inspiration to me. 9am. Time to go to work. 5pm. Quitting time... retirement. So the first 29 years of my life has been hitting the snooze alarm, finally getting out of bed, walking groggily around the house in my underwear, taking a shower, drinking coffee, listening to the news... in other words, getting ready. Getting ready to go to work.
Truth be told I've been in a funk the past week. I'm not sure if it's my diet, lack of exercise, realization I'm turning 30 or whatever emotion I might feel about that, or whatever. Might be all of it. I haven't really explored how I feel about being 30. I have been looking at my present situation however, and realizing where I'm at, and I'm trying to figure out where I'm going.
I've also done that stupid thing of comparing my life to another's and seeing how I measure up. While it's terrible and unfair to yourself to do that, it has actually caused me to appreciate my friends even deeper. I, and the people near and dear to me, have accomplished extraordinary things in our first 30 years. It's truly remarkable. The paths we've all chose has also put it us in very complimentary places for each other.
Ben wrote out something that I thought was inspiring. I'm not going to do it in this blog, but maybe next one. He wrote out a summary of his accomplishments/experiences in the last decade. I think he said he's going to post it up on his blog but he hasn't done it yet.
Ben's Blog
Yesterday I had my ipod on shuffle and Bing Crosby came on and sang "Counting your blessings". I've always loved that song. It's in the movie White Christmas.
When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
I fall asleep counting my blessings
And so on....
And blessings are plentiful in my life. When I graduated from high school, if someone were to tell me that in a little over 10 years I would be selling fiberglass products to the movie industry in Los Angeles while I build my own filmmaking career, I would have told that person they'd be wrong. At that time I was going to be a Lutheran Pastor, going to PLU, then seminary, and then God knows where. Well, God did know, and turns out it wasn't the path of a Lutheran minister. At least not yet.
I am going to do that 10 year synopsis thing that Ben did. I think it would be a good exercise for me to see what exactly I have accomplished and experienced. If you feel so inspired, I would love to read yours as well.
I'm also not fishing for compliments here either. This is purely an exercise for my own benefit and publishing it on my blog is a way for me to keep myself accountable.
Have a great weekend. Maybe I'll have this up before then.
I'm not exactly sure how all that was calculated since the years to minutes ratio seems a bit off to me, but the poetry in it is what brings inspiration to me. 9am. Time to go to work. 5pm. Quitting time... retirement. So the first 29 years of my life has been hitting the snooze alarm, finally getting out of bed, walking groggily around the house in my underwear, taking a shower, drinking coffee, listening to the news... in other words, getting ready. Getting ready to go to work.
Truth be told I've been in a funk the past week. I'm not sure if it's my diet, lack of exercise, realization I'm turning 30 or whatever emotion I might feel about that, or whatever. Might be all of it. I haven't really explored how I feel about being 30. I have been looking at my present situation however, and realizing where I'm at, and I'm trying to figure out where I'm going.
I've also done that stupid thing of comparing my life to another's and seeing how I measure up. While it's terrible and unfair to yourself to do that, it has actually caused me to appreciate my friends even deeper. I, and the people near and dear to me, have accomplished extraordinary things in our first 30 years. It's truly remarkable. The paths we've all chose has also put it us in very complimentary places for each other.
Ben wrote out something that I thought was inspiring. I'm not going to do it in this blog, but maybe next one. He wrote out a summary of his accomplishments/experiences in the last decade. I think he said he's going to post it up on his blog but he hasn't done it yet.
Ben's Blog
Yesterday I had my ipod on shuffle and Bing Crosby came on and sang "Counting your blessings". I've always loved that song. It's in the movie White Christmas.
When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
I fall asleep counting my blessings
And so on....
And blessings are plentiful in my life. When I graduated from high school, if someone were to tell me that in a little over 10 years I would be selling fiberglass products to the movie industry in Los Angeles while I build my own filmmaking career, I would have told that person they'd be wrong. At that time I was going to be a Lutheran Pastor, going to PLU, then seminary, and then God knows where. Well, God did know, and turns out it wasn't the path of a Lutheran minister. At least not yet.
I am going to do that 10 year synopsis thing that Ben did. I think it would be a good exercise for me to see what exactly I have accomplished and experienced. If you feel so inspired, I would love to read yours as well.
I'm also not fishing for compliments here either. This is purely an exercise for my own benefit and publishing it on my blog is a way for me to keep myself accountable.
Have a great weekend. Maybe I'll have this up before then.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I am the Champion
Winning friends and influencing people, and having a sales advantage. Last night was my final class of the Dale Carnegie course The Sales Advantage.
A very incredible class, the culmination of which we all had to do a 7-minute presentation going through all the steps of the sales process that we had learned in the class. We all graded each other, and the person with the highest score was the champion.
I won!
So I thank all my classmates for the honor. I owe it all to the group experience, and to our lovely instructor, Christina Taggart, who encouraged us, educated us, challenged us, and led us powerfully through the course.
A lot of great things happening this year. It's a great year, 2008. I look forward to more of what comes.
A very incredible class, the culmination of which we all had to do a 7-minute presentation going through all the steps of the sales process that we had learned in the class. We all graded each other, and the person with the highest score was the champion.
I won!
So I thank all my classmates for the honor. I owe it all to the group experience, and to our lovely instructor, Christina Taggart, who encouraged us, educated us, challenged us, and led us powerfully through the course.
A lot of great things happening this year. It's a great year, 2008. I look forward to more of what comes.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Broke and going home
Talk about a city of excess! I was sensory overloaded in less than 24 hours. I walked probably over 5 miles yesterday.
So we didn't end up going to the Playboy party. We were pretty wiped from the day, and decided to chill out, sit at some tables and play a little poker. Boy was that F'ing stupid. I lost 60 bucks in about an hour. Bastards set me down at a table of freakin experts.
Thus, I reinstate my previous decree about gambling. I don't do it. Casinos do not interest me in the slightest. The "free" drinks are nice, except when you put in perspective you just donated $60 to Las Vegas, you just spent $30 bucks each on those two little rum and cokes you had.
F!
It was an eye opener though. We are going back at the end of April for almost a week. By we I mean Matt, Jeremy and I. It's for a gaming trade show for DG. Anyway, we'll be looking into all those hidden coupons, cheap buffets, and so on... because it took us over an hour last night just to find a restaurant that wasn't an average of $30 a plate!
Where's the glamor in being broke. That's Vegas for you. Makes LA feel laid back and cozy.
So we didn't end up going to the Playboy party. We were pretty wiped from the day, and decided to chill out, sit at some tables and play a little poker. Boy was that F'ing stupid. I lost 60 bucks in about an hour. Bastards set me down at a table of freakin experts.
Thus, I reinstate my previous decree about gambling. I don't do it. Casinos do not interest me in the slightest. The "free" drinks are nice, except when you put in perspective you just donated $60 to Las Vegas, you just spent $30 bucks each on those two little rum and cokes you had.
F!
It was an eye opener though. We are going back at the end of April for almost a week. By we I mean Matt, Jeremy and I. It's for a gaming trade show for DG. Anyway, we'll be looking into all those hidden coupons, cheap buffets, and so on... because it took us over an hour last night just to find a restaurant that wasn't an average of $30 a plate!
Where's the glamor in being broke. That's Vegas for you. Makes LA feel laid back and cozy.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
It's Vegas!
Feet hurt. Too tired. But having a ton of fun. The mini handled well getting us out here. Below are some highlights of the day:
ARREST ME, PLEASE!!!!!!! She was as bubbly in person as she is on the show. Bridget from "The Girls Next Door". Incidentally, Jeremy and I will be attending the Playboy party tonight. I have to find me some pants though. Well, I have pants, but apparently jeans might not be allowed. God I am a DORK!
That might just ruin me. We'll let you know.
ARREST ME, PLEASE!!!!!!! She was as bubbly in person as she is on the show. Bridget from "The Girls Next Door". Incidentally, Jeremy and I will be attending the Playboy party tonight. I have to find me some pants though. Well, I have pants, but apparently jeans might not be allowed. God I am a DORK! Ladies and Gentlemen, Dee Snyder:
Dee worked with Midnight Syndicate on a creepy awesome album, which I also picked up so he could freakin sign it. TWISTED SISTER RULES!!!!
Finally, since we're in Vegas, why not get a really freaking LONG Long Island Iced Tea.
That might just ruin me. We'll let you know.
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